9 Comments
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Yesterday Jane's avatar

Lovely! Neutral. Not still.

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Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

pretty much the best I can hope for....

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Kathleen Basheera Ritchie's avatar

I saw that.

I don't have strong feelings about it, although conserving words is often the better option, I've found.

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Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Yeah, Peter generally suggests removing words. He's usually right.

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Kathleen Basheera Ritchie's avatar

Oooo. Good one!

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Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Interesting. I like this one, too! A friend suggested removing the word "still" in the first line of the second stanza. What do you think?

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Patrice H Garrett's avatar

Take out word , still , lovely poem, 💟 p

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Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

I'll think about it!

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Buffie's avatar

Nice

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