15 Comments
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Stephen T Berg's avatar

"... often stronger." May it come and stay with you.

Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Oh Stephen, it surely has! I now believe in myself, like who I am, stand up for myself, and ask for what I need. May we all get here.

with love,

Amrita

elaine heveron's avatar

Oh, good luck with the test. Wonder if it is for spinal cord stimulator or anablation. My husband has the spinal cord stimulator for his back, 30 months so far, pain-free. Your language in this is perfect.

Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

I looked into that seven years ago, but my concern is then I cannot get an MRI. Is that true for your husband, or have they found a way around it?

Thank you for liking my language! I want to respond to your amazing writing about what I assume is your Cochlear implant. Elaine, I've been in such devastating pain that I am behind responding to writing, and in fact, am not reading much here. I think I'll post a brief note to my readers. Sending love, and much hope that the implant, if it is yours, is helpful. I can imagine the adjustment period is tough.

with love,

Amrita

elaine heveron's avatar

Yes, he has had 4 MRI's, now compatible w spinal cord stimulator. And yes, my cochlear implant. It has hugely improved my life, in general. Love, e

(Haiku Artist)'s avatar

"the unseen heartbreak

rift and rupture

shape us forever

if we survive them"

That stayed with me.

The visible scars usually receive our sympathy.

The unseen ones quietly become our character.

Sometimes we don't recover from them.

We simply learn to recognise ourselves in a different mirror.

Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Yes. We are forever changed. But amazingly, sometimes these awful events (in my case, molested at age four) shape us, and in the end, weirdly become deep, enduring gifts:

I read people well.

If I don't like or trust their energy, they are not welcome in my life, although I wish them well and healing.

If their hearts are open, mine welcomes theirs. Like thee and me, friend.

(Haiku Artist)'s avatar

Dear Amrita,

Thank you for trusting me with something so deeply personal. I can only imagine the courage it takes to speak of it so openly. I am grateful that, despite everything, your heart has remained open to kindness. I value our friendship very much. Warmly, Subhash

Jan Haag's avatar

"Scars" is always an excellent prompt, but your take on it here with...

"...Cesarean slash

entrance,

exit wounds

the unseen heartbreak

rift and rupture..."

...make it all that more fresh, unique to the narrator and heartrending—not to mention that terrici line, "if we survive them." So well done, Amrita.

Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Thank you, Jan! I was happy with this one. Short note, still in significant pain.

with love,

Amrita

Jan Haag's avatar

Hope you feel better soon. Sending much love and best wishes for that pain to subside!

Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Thank you, friend.

Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Thank you, Jan. Due to vicious pain that wiped words clean gone, i am beginning to write again. The neck-referred pain into my dominant arm, improved from epidural. And then my low back, stable for the last 7 years, is now screaming, had MRI tonight. Earliest intervention, and only a test, still 9 days away. Opioids, my friend. Valium and Lyrica, my attending ladies, waiting now for them to take effect, so I might sleep.

felice rhiannon's avatar

oh amrita, only you could write the words of pain for us all...every pain, every one of us...