on turning eighty

on turning eighty 

I’m careening 
toward an unknown end
dawn rolls into evening  
loops into daybreak again

time is not fixed
it stretches and shrinks
Hawaiian vacation—
lickety-split
waiting for test results
protracted

how will it come,
this looming demise
accident? disease?
during sleep? 

in night’s deep
it’s not knowing,
lack of control 
that nags

we are more than 
our physical frames, 
shining awareness
exploring earthly life

it’s the getting in and out
of here that’s tough