brute courage

1984, nine years old

brute courage 
1984, nine years old

shivering poolside
all bone and sinew
leg bent, toed in
arm stiff, jerky
and wandering behind
open-heart scar
purple
in fluorescent light

jump! I’ll catch you
the boy
full of trust and heart,
flings out and down
coach snags him
holds firm
till he gets a grip

I’m right here
shove off,  
kick like mad!
oversized front 
teeth rattle    breath 
comes fast

you can do this!
nodding, rickity-tick
teeth    push off
flailing limbs, head
arched, sputtering
keep coming!
good work!
coach steps backward
through the water

the boy smacks
the far side, rears
up like a tsunami
d-did it!
coach’s wide smile
and cheer

I tremble     cannot stop
my son, safer now,
can swim