14 Comments
User's avatar
(Haiku Artist)'s avatar

The syllable countdown of the nonet form works so beautifully here, creating a natural funneling down into those final, powerful single-syllable lines. It perfectly captures that quiet, focused stillness of a four-thirty morning before the world wakes up. Thank you for sharing this glimpse of early morning clarity and creation!

Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Your comments are so helpful--to see what you notice. Thank you.

Do you have a name other than Haiku Artist that you are willing to share?

--Amrita

(Haiku Artist)'s avatar

Subhash

Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Thank you, Subhash.

Arlene Szalay's avatar

A beautiful vision.

Poetry Tracks In the Snow's avatar

This is such a lovely use of form that adds an exclamation point to your words and meaning. Well done Amrita 💕

Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Thank you! I'm enjoying playing with these forms! Hearing that they work for others is just great.

Robin Gabbert's avatar

Love your title Amrita, as well as this unique form.

Amrita Skye Blaine's avatar

Thank you! I enjoy playing with these short forms.

Yesterday Jane's avatar

A beautiful rhythm, Amrita! Also the juxtaposition of the nesting bird "cracking open" is lovely.

Jan Haag's avatar

A perfect nonet! So nicely done, Amrita!