before, after, and now

before, after, and now

before four
I inhabited my body 
and used my mind
think wolf cub—			
bold curious playful

after five
I inhabited my mind 
and used my body
wolf cub slunk away 
left spindly girl, afraid			

hired man befriended
then betrayed me
threatened family
and dog—my sidekick
didn’t dare tell
buried recall deep

sixty years later
the first image erupted
who when where what
relief to know
more came later

now I dwell in this frame 
my soft animal self
neglected so long
finally cared for—
open
transparent
lucid
awake