that time

dear friend lost
her partner today
although not unexpected
nearness of his breath
has flown
her sisters, far away
draw near
texts, calls, prayer

Will this ever end

this metronomic sensation
a repeating tsunami
wave upon wave upon wave
that heavy meds barely dent
and no position relieves

The oriole on the feeder 
outside sucks in grape jelly
unaware
flies off to his nearby nest
responsible for keeping 
his whole brood alive

These flashes of black
and marigold nourish—
for a few moments warmth
rolls through my body,
pain subsiding

Open

This is my vision— 
May I be a door
that is propped open
ready to help 
accessible, loving

The Wisdom to See the Difference 
	  after the Serenity Prayer, attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr 

Like glimpsing the outline
of a fawn, grass-hidden
tender spots gleaming
in the sunshine
That moment

Those Shoes

the ones that didn’t fit
my mother wanted
me to wear?

For sixty-three years
I tried her way
No room for my toes
to breathe

Finally pitched them
into the giveaway bag

I’ve stepped into my own shoes

PVCs

cardiac slang
ventricular arrhythmias 
a storm in my chest

Post-Traumatic Stress
February 19, 2014

Left with flashes at
unwanted times 
it all comes back

In my peripheral vision
I see the car careening
toward me    whop!

metal crinkling 
glass tinkling 
the slow roll
car rests on its roof

Interminable
hanging upside down
streaming sirens
louder now

finally, my husband’s 
steady voice

Kinship 

She comes from faraway,
daughter of my husband’s 
good friend    now gone
Although no shared blood,
family for sure    
With care,
rummaging on tablets
for scanned photos
warm stories to share 

Our dog stares 
in her eyes    
All fifty-four pounds
crawls
in her lap for a sit
only half of her fits
but her whole heart 
is there

Feather Woman

While journeying
a rainbow-winged being
taller than I
rose behind my left shoulder

Fifty years later
this quiet potent presence
walks with me still
Answers when I call

Live Wire

Sometimes a gravid
thundercloud
a blinding flash
roiling fire burns through
emptying mind
engulfing
cauterizing
even sanctifying

A Blessing for You

My life mostway gone
the gift of time-my-own— 
paints and computer
now close companions
old shaming voices
silenced

I offer this for you,
your beautiful, imperfect
impermanent self:
hold dear your heart 
with both hands
savor small moments
dog relaxed in your lap
oriole’s bright flash
at the feeder
the grace of waiting
even in an office,
breathe in, breathe out
you are
alive  

the purifier

We don’t ask for it
ever
yet, like weather, 
it shows up
moves in

We bear 
the flame, breathe 
through it
while scrambling
for solutions

Bracing intensifies it
but pain met, unflinching
becomes heat, pressure
pulse—sensation
with no name

nothing else in the room

Boro Passed Down 

Indigo cloth hand-dyed 
in a small Japanese village
sewn into noragi, tended, 
worn, work-torn
patched by his wife 
with small sashiko stitches
worn, torn, mended yet 
again, passed down to a son 
who tucks the hem 
into his obi, bending 
to the rice field
his small son beside him
knowing what to do

Nawareit! 
An Arabic greeting

Your light enlarges my home    
invites my stretching open
to meet your blaze
our joint radiance flares
Neighbors rush to their windows
to see what is brightening
their day

How It Is

dolphins rise 
to the surface singing
A child in the woods 
meets a bear    has no fear
and stray dogs 
like monks with bowls
come to the doorstep
and are offered a meal
both knowing there is no other 
on the other side of now

Precip 

First light    quiet roads
fogfall wets my dog
and me
Looking up
sky feathers my face
news fades
In spreading warmth
we walk into the day

The Glory of Clear Vision

Not assumed,
but missing bow-down
everyday praise

Now daily grateful 
thanks for the sixteen
hours a day trifocals
are on my face 
My world, brighter
clearer, bluer
books and paints
calling

Not Midway, Mostway 

Mostway through my life
So much more aft than fore
now each heartbeat treasured

When an oriole alights
outside my window, breath
stops    holding still
I savor his marigold and black
A single wingbeat and he’s gone
while I remain 
for now

Pay Close Attention
 
Raised eyebrow or
downward glance—  
little clues hide
in plain sight

Shift away
lose wide focus,
I might miss the key

Stay right here 
right now
read the present moment
don’t scuttle or slide

when I pay attention
every move, 
each breath 
informs, ignites 
awakening or grace

Summer Singing

Cicadas, crickets, katydids
pour songs into the world
when I hear their thrumming
in that moment 
the world is right

Why are people repelled?
A shell he can shed
those astonishing red eyes
and transparent wings
See the miracle of him!